Rascal Flatts - Rascal Flatts

Will Metcalfe 24/03/2008

Rating: 1/5

Did you know that in 2006 Rascal Flatts outsold all other artists in America? Me neither, until I saw the press release for this record that is. If you're somehow bewildered it may help to know that they provided much of the sound track to Disney/Pixar's megasmash Cars, sadly this also provides an insight to exactly what this sounds like. If you still need a hint imagne any mid western airbrushed teen, add plodding Bon Jovi-lite radio rock and add a suitably youthful vocal and bam! You got it.

Depending on the importance you place upon music within your life this can mean one of few things either a) this band will be topping your charts for the next year or the more likely b) that this sentimental pile of pig shit will reduce your critical faculties to those of a slavering child. No prizes for what happened to me but it's safe to say that I don't like it, no way; this reaction becomes even worse if you listen to the lyrics this pre pubescent Bon Jovi imitator is peddling 'loving you/is what I'm trying to do' (insert a terribly slick, unimpressive guitar solo here for full effect).

Perhaps I'm being a bit unfair, I mean the last piece of Disney music I enjoyed at a push came from the Jungle Book a film that is older I believe that my parents. The fact that Rascal Flatts are signed on what I would hazard is a Disney imprint label again bears bad tidings. These slushy, contritely upbeat ballads and, ahem, anthems are exactly the kind of music that damages children's mental states and produces gun toting morons-don't
blame Eminem; no, no, no. Blame Disney. I really don't know what else to say, obviously this review is about as balanced as Robert Maxwell's accounts but I would guess that people interesting in this record aren't the types to seek critical opinions. Then again if Sheryl Crow has became too cynical, Bryan Adams to lofi and the like of McFly just too heavy go out and buy this record; then do us all a favour and have yourself banned from record stores worldwide. Music for morons.