Knights - Undercover Lover
Stephen Bray 16/10/2006
The Knights CD looks odd. The cover appears to show Sims versions of David Beckham and some female reality TV star or other. I'm expecting MOR dreariness. I'm hopelessly wrong. It's nowhere even nearly that good.
'Undercover Lover' is cheesy dance music of the sort that ued to thrive in the mid 90s,but even then appeared dated. Singer/songwriter/producer Thomas Knights has a weak singing voice that's veiled in a faux-American accent that sounds absolutely insipid, especially when it's coupled with the swathes and swirls of the bleepy music. Lyrically the track is nothing but laughable either, with its hook of “Join me undercover / we can both discover / the joys of another” falling straight out of the Noel Gallagher songbook. I'd pull out more quotes for your delectation but I honestly can't bring myself to listen to this track again. It's one of the worst things I've heard in ages and, considering that our office radio is constantly tuned to local stations, that really is saying something. This is so bad that it won't even be successful.
B-Sides 'The Words Don't Come' and 'Icon' stick to the theme of the above except for the fact that, on 'Icon', the other band member Elisabeth Valentine comes to the fore rather more with a style entirely ripped off from Sarah Nixey, but far less appealing. The accent is just as fake as Thomas'.
Please avoid this record. I care for you deeply and don't wish for your health to be affected by your listening to this.