Various - Headbangers' Bible
Liam McGrady 12/07/2005
Another day, another compilation - mindlessly put together by some feckless record/production company out for a quick buck, no doubt. Well let's see what we've got here. 'Headbangers Bible' promises, “3 CD's - 45 Megatons Of Metal Mayhem” and it does live up to that promise in part; I mean it does have 3 CD's.
So now we've established that this is not exactly a collection of classic Metal (although there are a few golden oldies lurking around), what is it really? Well, it's a mix of 70's Rock, 80's 'Poodle Rock', and some real oddities; and Status Quo.
While many will baulk at another selection of predictable guitar anthems (and I'm one of them) there's a very good reason why songs by the likes of Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Motorhead, and Free constantly crop up on these discs. It's because they're still just so damn good; these are the sort of records that are in your genes, part of your DNA. I love the way the riff on Sabbath's 'Paranoid' isn't in time to start with, making it feel so spontaneous, I can't help but throw myself on the floor, gurning like a madman when I hear 'Ace Of Spades' clattering intro, and even having heard Free's 'All Right Now' 15 million times I still play air guitar along to it.
Despite the complete ridiculousness of most of these songs, it's a fairly enjoyable listen - if you approach it in a light hearted manner. I recommend that you pull on a pair of skin tight, faded jeans (preferably faded pale blue, or black - with white socks), stick on an appropriate band t-shirt, maybe an Iron Maiden vest if you've got one and grab a bandanna. Then you'll be ready to bounce around to some Texan blues-boogie (ZZ Top's 'Gimme All Your Lovin'), strut around to the cool-as-fuck 'Rosalie' from Thin Lizzy and stand on top of a big hill, wind blowing through your hair, rock ballad style to Bad Company's 'Feel Like Making Love'.
And if you're still thirsty for some Rock, whack Van Halen's 'Jump' on full blast and try not to feel embarrassed while pretending to play those awful synths, or better still listen to 'She Sells Sanctuary' by The Cult and try to take the goth-lite, drivetime radio anthem seriously.
While I wouldn't say that you should rush out and buy this 3 disc set (especially if you're still dressed in your 80's metal finery) it's actually quite good fun. One for when you've got a few mates round, had a few too many sherbets and fancy a good laugh.