Eminem - We Made You

Laura Prior 01/05/2009

Rating: 1.5/5

Eminem's sick dog of a comeback limps, marches further into the marsh as he manages to russle up an even-more-rubbish song than "Crack a Bottle" and "I'm Having a Relapse" put together. Almost. His tradition to make every lead-off single a nursery rhyme version of The National Enquirer continues, featuring as it does totally bitching slams on never-before lampooned celebrities like... Jessica Simpson(?), Lindsey Lohan(??!) and, um, John Mayer?! What? Elsewhere on his list of 'hilarious', totally not-stale targets, Em also name-checks 5ive, Nu Rave and absolutely rips into the Irish Potato Famine. He also raps in an Indian accent now for no reason.

The chorus is a gaudy cross between "Big Spender" and Outkast's "The Whole World", and the actual quality of Em's rapping is shockingly poor - see lines like "Can he come back as nasty as he can? Yes he can, can, don't ask me this again." It's not just that Eminem's knack for contemporary pop culture referencing has been hit several times with the idiot stick. In 2009, a 157,000 parody-genre films and lame Katy Brand sketches later, means the whole concept of lazy spot-the-obvious-reference "satire" is outdated and tired. In 2009, the whole concept of Eminem feels tired.

"If you think that's bad, you should hear the rest of my album", he helpfully offers near the end, probably in a way in which he didn't intend. Let's hope the reminder of Relapse isn't the horrible embarrassment it currently threatens to be.

Watch the video here:
Eminem: We Made You