Dananananaykroyd - Danana: touring with the Kaisers

Paul Carlin 09/03/2009

During Jan and Feb of this year Scottish upstarts Dananananaykroyd took to stages supporting the Kaiser Chiefs across their Europe and Ireland dates, their drummer Paul Carlin kindly sent us his exclusive tour diary of what went down on this historic tour, remember what goes on on tour, stays on tour, well kind of.

Alright listen up, we went on tour with the Kaiser Chiefs. Here's a very small part of what went down:

Picture the scene: six malnourished, petrified geeks get aboard a bus straight outta 1989 (a strong year for the 80s, pals), get lectured from an unhinged driver that there is only one rule on the bus, “UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can we do a number two in the toilet”... Fine, pal... it's your toilet... etc and we get on our way!

Aaaaanyway, we got on that bloody bus with our hearts full of excitement and joy. A bus! For a whole month! WE GOT OUR OWN BED EACH and two lounges with flat screen TV, DVD, Playstation, kitchen, microwave, fridge, etc...

First stop was Germany where everyone is all German and stuff. Brilliant! Imagine our surprise to find we were playing on a stage where we each got at least a metre squared to ourselves? Never mind that, we got our first taste of tour catering. Oh my goodness, the catering. When I look back on this in 20 years time, I'll remember the catering more than the gigs! Actual great food on tour, who would have thought...

So the first couple of shows went really well... We acclimatised to the big stages and big crowds really quickly and the kids down the front jumped around like the lunatics that they are. Jumping up and down at gigs? Whatever's that?

Basically, things were going really well until our drummer/singer John decided he was a rarely-spotted gig-cat and leaped from the stage to the barrier... a grand total of 8 feet... a grand total of ONE DESTROYED ANKLE... a grand total of ONE AMBULANCE in Luxembourg (we went to Luxembourg for crying out loud) and a grand total of TWO CRUTCHES AND ONE WHEELCHAIR. We wheeled him (simultaneously laughing at him) to Bruxelles for a couple of shows where The Great Man, Scott Simpson, our Tour Manager handled some of his drumming duties. This is the time period on the tour where we also found out our '60 something' driver has a thing for young trannies (who doesn't really).

Oh, I better talk about the Kaiser Chiefs. So they're total dudes. They're funny, generous, genuine and a lot of fun to hang out with. I wish we'd got to hang out more. Anyway, we had two days in Belgium and for some inexplicable reason, DIDN'T go into a gay bar called L'Homo Erectus which was outside our bus. Still, the chips were really good, but then again chips are almost always really good no matter where you are.

We then went to Paris where the people are beautiful. Oh, Paris. Right, by the way, I had no idea how amazing the crowds were gonna be on this tour... EVERYONE got into the Wall of Cuddles. We hung around after every show to meet our adoring fans who, true to form, adored us. And we adored them. And still do. They're bloody lovely people. Europe definitely has it going on...

Next night we hit Lyon which was equally French and equally good and went equally crazy. What ISN'T French, however, is Barcelona. It's in Spain. No, seriously, it's in Spain. Barcelona was terrific too. We set up our equipment on the side of a mountain inside the venue. YEAH. Spain is nice. It's laid back and full of beautiful people. Portugal is too. Man, the kids know how to party in Portugal. Our two best shows took place in Porto and Lisbon. We played in ancient old theatres to crowds who were right up for it. We love you, Portugal. And we love your baked goods too.

After heading back to Madrid to slay that particularly wonderful audience (we played in a bullring!), we had two days off during which we had to travel to Milan. These two days off can only be described as 'pure pish'. Why? Our luxury touring bus broke down. In an industrial estate outside Montpellier. We only had peanut M&Ms and Diet Coke for sustenance for two days (not to mention NO toilet facilities). John and Calum almost got mauled to death by a dog. A character from Tintin was sent out to 'look' at the front of our bus. PURE PISH. Fortunately a nice man fixed it late the next evening, but we still missed the Milan show.

To compensate, we went to a club and partied with a tranny who looked like Bungle from Rainbow (driver would have been in heaven if not asleep). It's the only way to deal with these potentially harmful situations.

So a trip to Zurich (nice city, tough crowd), then Vienna (nice city, tough crowd), then Dresden (nice city, tough crowd) and finally, Mainz (nice city, tough crowd).

Europe, winter time = AMAZINGLY COLD... Sleeping in a bus has it's disadvantages.

This cleared the path for Dananananaykroyd to hit SCANDINAVIA. Oh Denmark, we ate as much pizza as we could for one day's PD.... we went ice skating in your outdoor rink... we even found a dive bar to watch football... your inhabitants are the most beautiful people I've ever seen... Oh Norway, you're pretty much the same as Denmark only more expensive and not as hot, but you're still damn fine.

The final week of the tour was a test of endurance. Hamburg was good, Amsterdam was good (played to 7000 people!) and we managed not to 'hire' the girls in the windows. Barry, Anthony, Mike, Colin and Casey were foolish enough to visit us. We did a headline show in Paris with Bear Hands. I love you guys. We went to Dublin! We played in a cave! We got planes at 7am (after going to bed at 5am) or something ridiculous. Drank proper Guiness. We hit Belfast! Our individual minds slowly melted and disintegrated into dust/mush and we slowly turned perma-digital.

Getting home was a fine reward for a month of hard work and terrific fun. Kaiser Chiefs, you guys are radical, and I don't just say that about anyone.

I love my band. (I'm NEVER leaving the house again.)


Dananananaykroyd release their new single 'Black Wax' on 23rd March, watch the video here:

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