Singles

Flo Rida, Featuring Akon - Available

Richard Wink 21/01/2010

Rating: 1/5

Pop music is getting dumber, and of all the ditchwater dunces currently producing rotten audio candy, Flo Rida is one of the worse offenders. But in this day and age being bad is a good thing, all you need is a hook and you can waffle around the rest; producing filler that kills. I'm thinking of Ke$ha, who sounds like a dizzy doll who's accidentally found herself with a autotune mic stuck in her oesophagus after a night out hitting the J├Ągerbombs, and 3OH!3 a group of jackasses who seem to be in on the joke, making money from all the gullible twats that are paying to seem them at concerts. See the fault isn't with the artist making stupid sellable, it's with the audience who blindly consume the crap.

Once again Flo is able to get away with lacking swag and any discernable rhyme skills, somehow turning his limitations into dollar catching strengths. 'Available' is a terrifically lazy single. On the track Flo talks about how he is a single man who wants to play the field, ready to hit the dance floor and sow some creamy oats. Then Akon chirps in with a half arsed chorus about being free. Of course this has a double meaning, what with Akon being an ex-con after shoplifting a bag of Doritos from a 7/11.

That's it. No wonderful Lil' Wayne style turn of phrase, no Jay-Z like wordplay, no N-Dubz-esque youthful exuberance. This is commercial hip pop that was churned out in five minutes, written on the back of a napkin, recorded in between a dentist appointment and a well paid performance for some brats Super Sweet Sixteen.