Peter Doherty - New Love Grows on Trees

James McDonald 25/03/2009

Rating: 1/5

Stop the press! Put dinner on hold! Pete Doherty is back! 'Crickey love, how did we survive these desperate times without him?' Well, when calculated within layman's terms, the answer is almost always 'easily'. 'New Love Grows On Trees' is an arduous endurance; begging the question 'does anyone still buy his stuff?' Honestly, this is the kind of whine I could get for free at my local animal rescue. Pete(r) Doherty (the additional 'r' is obligatory, I am told) recalls some lost love for the worst part of four minutes, and no matter how many instruments are shoved awkwardly behind him, it never once makes me feel remorseful, passionate or even slightly sorry for his bereavement.

So then, I must assume this release is meant to be ironic. 'If you're still alive when you're twenty-five/should I kill you?' sounds quite rhetorical, whilst the three chords he plays are, astoundingly, played right. I'd boarder on 'played well', but lets not get ahead of ourselves here. What we have presented in front of us is a dying demi-god, one who relents against cries for him to shut the hell up, cries which will always resound as long as he continues to release such tripe. He does it to himself, it's true, and that's what really hurts.